GOOD GALLY MISS HOLLY!

*sigh*

Ok, so..........................

My brother, Aaron (Opie to some of you) and his wife, Teri were told by their landlord at the beginning of the month that they needed to be out of their house by Sept 1st so the house could be sold. So....they bought a different house in town. It's an old house that was built in the 1920's but it huge and has all of the original woodwork...and unfortunately for us, all of the original wallpaper and the nasty carpet and just lots of things that have to be dealt with before they can bring their babies in and call it their home. *this is where I come in
All day last Saturday a good chunk of our family spent scraping 9...count them NINE layers of wallpaper all throughout the entire lower level of the home. So, as a way of saying thank you, Aaron and Teri treated us all to the Rockwell American Legion Post 208 steak fry. I was weak, tired and blistery from the scraping and what have you, but i went anyway. What the hey...free food.
*fast forward about 2 1/2 hours later. I was doubled over on the bathroom floor not knowing if I was going to crap my pants or throw up or just lay there and bawl. My guts felt much like there was some sort of clamp attatched to my intestines and every once in awhile it felt like the clamp was being twisted and I was being punched in the stomach at the very same time. In addition, my back felt as though a 400 lb man was using me as a trampoline. Was it food poisoning? My friend Beth had just called me a couple days before to tell me her husband had to go to the ER for kidney stones. Is it that? I didn't know, I layed on the cold tile floor and prayed to God. "God, oh my God. If I'm being punished for something, I'm super sorry....but if you're just thinking that it's my time to go...just do it. I think I'm ready." It was horrif. (that's an abbreviation for horrific).
Somehow I managed to crawl to bed...because that's where my phone was. I tried calling and texting my sister in law, ber, and my brother to tell them I needed to go to the ER. They were all sleeping peacefully upstairs...probably dreaming about hugging sunshine and picking flowers.
Next thing I know, I hear "it starts in my toes and it crinkles my nose...wherever it goes....." my ringtone. *blink *blink The only explaination I have is that I must have passed out from the pain, but when I heard "Bubbly" the next morning...NOTHING. All of the pain was completely gone. I answered the phone and it was my Bif, Erin. She said "are you ok? what's happening?" Apparently I texted her in the night instead of my brother Aaron....i don't know, i'm suprised I could even type a readable sentence to be honest with you.
So, that Sunday was the day my Aunt Dorothea was leaving to go back to crazy town (I think that's where she's from) and my whole family...grandparents, great aunt and great uncle, regular aunts and uncles and cousins and neices and what have you all went to lunch to celebrate her leaving, I guess. I felt beautifully healthy. If I knew how to do a cartwheel, I would have done one right there in the restaurant....all day I felt like a million dollars...the same could be said for Monday.
And then TUESDAY reared it's ugly head. I was experiencing the same pain, only slightly less intense, but the kicker is that I was actually at work being trained on a new process. So, I'm in the training room trying to concentrate and absorb 4 hours worth of material all while feeling like little germans are playing polo in my stomach and elephants are dancing on my back. So, after training I went to the convenient clinic. By this time I had spoken with both my aunt and my grandma (who are nurses) and we had come to the conclusion that I had gall stones.
The Dr. walks in and says "What can I help you with?" I explain (in slightly less detail than whats printed above) my condition and also said "I would like an ultrasound to check for gall stones. "Well", the Dr. says, "I would like to run a few blood tests and if those come back negative, we'll go ahead and schedule an ultrasound on your gall bladder. I'll send someone in to get some blood."
1 hour and 20 minutes later......a nurse comes in. "What is your name?" By this time I had read the April 2005 issue of Good Housekeeping 6 times...so, needless to say, I was somewhat annoyed. "Holly. Petersen." "Oh, ok...we're still waiting on those results." *door slams
That would be great if I had been sitting in there for an hour and twenty minutes waiting on results...but I wasn't. They hadn't drawn a single drop of blood from my body, so I don't know what results they could have possibly been waiting for. I went out to the front desk and a different nurse says to me "Still waiting on those results.....I don't know what could be taking so long." I like to think I'm a pretty patient person, but DAMN. Can a bitch get a break? I'm in pain, all I want is a stupid ultrasound and a pain pill to knock my ass out.....but instead I'm stuck in the Covenant hospital "convenient" care stupid exam room. GOD! So, finally....about three hours after I had checked in to the office, I was on my way to get my blood drawn. The doctor said he would call me in 20 minutes with my results.
2 hours later, the doctor calls. "Yeah...uhh...Holly. This is doctor stupid face calling. I have your test results back and it looks like your liver enzymes are slightly elevated...So, I'm going to go ahead and check you for Hepatitis."
"YIKES! Where could I have gotten that?!?"
"Hepatitis is actually a fairly easy thing to catch".
Yeah................hepa friggin' titis. So, the doc schedule an ultrasound and a stupid hepatits test. Needless to say, 18mm gall stone (about the size of a marble) and another one that is not measurable because it's stuck in my bile duct.....and NO HEPATITIS.
Anyway, I will be having surgery to get this gall bladder out. Not at the devil hospital (don't worry)...on Sept 11th. Yeah. 9-11. So, call me. I'll probably be pretty bored.