OMG!!!!! So, last night I was laying on the air mattress watching "Miami Ink". I was just minding my own business...winding down from a weekend full of magic and wonder when I felt a "thud" on my rib cage. It was a soft and gentle "thud", but I definately knew something was there. I thought, "now, what in the hell." So, I looked down and moved the blanket and a $@&*Q%Q*%@!@^&$&%^&%#*^@!%& BAT flew up friggin' right by my face. I've never moved so fast in my entire life. I ran to the bathroom and sat and contemplated my next move. Should I trap it with a laundry basket? No. That would never work, the bat could squeeze through the holes. Should I catch with a couple of cooking pots? No. That would wake the kids...and probably the neighbors. Then, I wished for a net. When one didn't magically appear out of thin air, I was forced to abandon that idea and go wake up Matt and Steph. Perfect idea. Matt will know just what to do.
I walked upstairs to their door and knocked ever so slightly and just then the bat came swooping down at me. I think I about shat myself at this point. I was shaking and convulsing outside of their door in a crumpled up ball of Holly. I was saying in a talking whisper "Ok, seriously...you guys need to open this &*#$%@#*&% door, there's a *&^%$$&^* bat out here! That didn't work....so I knocked again....the bat swooped again. It felt like this cycle went on for about 12 hours, but in all honesty, it was probably only 10 minutes. Trust me, though....10 minutes of having a bat swooping down at you is PLENTY. Matt finally cracked open the door and just as he did, the bat swooped again and in between Matt trying to not let the bat in and me trying to get into the "bat-free zone". I got squashed between the door and the frame and backed out....leaving me...once again....alone with the bat. I thought, great...Matt's up. He can deal with it. I ran downstairs as quickly as my chubby legs would carry me. But I could still see the shadow of the demon creature circling around the upstairs hallway. the bat finally stopped. At this point, I realized I needed to suck it up and go find the damn thing. I walked ever so gingerly up the steps....and there he was. Sitting on the bookshelf licking his wings. Eff. That's right. Eff, I say. I can't really tell you what happened next. Just know that it involves Matt, a raquetball raquet and a wal*mart bag. EFF, EFF and more EFF.
This may seem like it's not such a big deal...but I want you to think about it...no, really really think about it....I had a BAT land on my freakin' rib cage. WHAT THE HELL?!?!!?!??! I'm sorry...this just happened last night...I'm having a hard time getting over it....I needed to tell you guys.
Bats are gross.
The end.
I walked upstairs to their door and knocked ever so slightly and just then the bat came swooping down at me. I think I about shat myself at this point. I was shaking and convulsing outside of their door in a crumpled up ball of Holly. I was saying in a talking whisper "Ok, seriously...you guys need to open this &*#$%@#*&% door, there's a *&^%$$&^* bat out here! That didn't work....so I knocked again....the bat swooped again. It felt like this cycle went on for about 12 hours, but in all honesty, it was probably only 10 minutes. Trust me, though....10 minutes of having a bat swooping down at you is PLENTY. Matt finally cracked open the door and just as he did, the bat swooped again and in between Matt trying to not let the bat in and me trying to get into the "bat-free zone". I got squashed between the door and the frame and backed out....leaving me...once again....alone with the bat. I thought, great...Matt's up. He can deal with it. I ran downstairs as quickly as my chubby legs would carry me. But I could still see the shadow of the demon creature circling around the upstairs hallway. the bat finally stopped. At this point, I realized I needed to suck it up and go find the damn thing. I walked ever so gingerly up the steps....and there he was. Sitting on the bookshelf licking his wings. Eff. That's right. Eff, I say. I can't really tell you what happened next. Just know that it involves Matt, a raquetball raquet and a wal*mart bag. EFF, EFF and more EFF.
This may seem like it's not such a big deal...but I want you to think about it...no, really really think about it....I had a BAT land on my freakin' rib cage. WHAT THE HELL?!?!!?!??! I'm sorry...this just happened last night...I'm having a hard time getting over it....I needed to tell you guys.
Bats are gross.
The end.
